FORGIVE(N)

Joy: To experience great pleasure or delight.

This morning I woke up at 5:50 am on top of the world, full of joy. The sun was up and shining into my bedroom and there was nothing that could break me. I felt happy to be alive, happy with my position in the universe, happy with my life, happy with my family*. I opened all of my windows, put on some good music, went downstairs and did chores on the request of no one. My brother made me an awesome egg, German sausage and toast breakfast that was scrumptious! This doesn’t normally happen, I’m not a morning person, I like mornings and the productivity achieved when your day starts early but I don’t usually enjoy mornings. This morning though I woke up singing, “Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind wanting to start again, do you know that there’s still a chance for you, there’s a spark in you you just go to ignite the light and let it shine, just own the night like fourth of July, cause baby you’re a firework!” “Come on show ’em what you’re worth!”Β Yeah, the lyrics are wrong but that’s quite the norm with me, I leave out some of them by accident but it’s just as good aye?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw&feature=kp

How on Earth did this happen? Yesterday I was at the bottom of the barrel, I felt useless and without direction, although I have a plan and lots of direction as well as the will to achieve it but nonetheless I was down.

You see, when you have an argument whether you’re wrong or right, you are still left bitter when it’s done. If you were right you’re upset that the other party was so brazen and if you were wrong you possibly didn’t think you were or didn’t want to accept that. You’re bitter. You go on with your day but you can’t get over the other party’s ignorance, their pride or your wrongdoing and pride. It surely isn’t the most coveted feeling in the world.

Then, if you’re like me you keep arguing in your head and study how you could have better phrased your argument resulting in an altogether better chance of wining. I don’t just let it go, especially when I’m right about something I must prove myself but I’d rather not argue so I just keep thinking about it. I get frustrated and just hearing the other person makes me upset.

You’d think that I would want to drop it right? Not really. This week I did though,I simply wouldn’t let my entire day and consequently week be spoiled over an argument that would in no way seriously impact my life and the other person was never going to see what I was saying. So I let it go, I forgave.

I’m right! Why would I forgive? Well you see I have quite an active conscience which ensures that I feel indescribably guilty when I do something wrong, in this case it was holding a grudge. Secondly, the argument would keep going on in my head until I got over it, only there is no simple way to ‘get over’ an argument when someone said offensive things to you, instead you just have to deal with it. Thirdly, I sin, everyday, I offend people, I lose patience, I judge and a plethora of other things but I’m forgiven. I’m forgiven by someone who has absolutely nothing to gain by forgiving me but He does it because He loves me and because I love those around me it makes sense to do so. It’s easier to show love to someone when they are forgiven in your books. Lastly, I’m sort of under orders to do as such and it also affects the efficiency with which my sins are forgiven and as mentioned above -I really need this service. So I forgave. And every second that I think about the argument or try to recollect details or to further dissect the argument I have to forgive all over again until it carries no weight for me.

Matthew 6:14 – For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Colossians 3:13- Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32- Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Matthew 18:22- Jesus said to him, I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

Just some proof. Forgiving frees us from so much weight and stress, just as knowing that we are forgiven give us such a piece of mind and makes more room for joy in Christ. Am I saying that because I forgave I felt great? No, that was possibly just some chemicals in my body that made me happy so when the sun shone brilliantly into my room this morning, I greeted it as an amazing occurrence rather than a bother. And in that moment I was exceedingly happy, and in the following moment of consciousnesses no guilt came crushing down onto me, no bitterness or memories of such prevailed.

Here’s a shot from an afternoon that I walked down Queen Street, Toronto, freezing!
DSC_0431

Forgiven,
Rushell Rousseau

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