perfection: state of being without fault
When you think of me, the first word that comes to mind isn’t ‘perfectionist‘.
‘Free-spirit‘,’wanderer‘, ‘sailor‘, ‘weird‘ (in the type of way that you like), or more aptly, ‘beachbum’ are nouns that commonly resonate. They are all accurate but there is another noun that most don’t get the opportunity to call me. This one is, you guessed it- seeing that it is in the title and all, ‘perfectionist‘.
My grades don’t display it as I hold many other activities further up the totem pole than exams. My sailing doesn’t display it; as much as I enjoy racing, skipping around the Gulf on a sunny, blue sky day is my most dedicated sailing time. My writing doesn’t display it; I’m neither constant nor grammatically correct and editing text blows. My time management most certainly doesn’t display it. Yet, I still dare to call myself a perfectionist.
Well it goes like this: There are somethings that I seem to enjoy very much and hold several ideas about how they should be done. These are things that “make my heart sing” but because I hold a set of ideas about how they ought to be done. I refuse to do them unless I can execute in exact accordance with my ideas. They must be done without fault and there should be no traces of mediocracy.
So, I don’t do these things. The world (friends, family and the scattered but much appreciated little social media following that I’ve acquired) doesn’t see nor hear about them. As a result, no one would think to categorise me under ‘PERFECTIONIST’. Of the things that I do produce, I mostly don’t care for their perfection. The small percentage of perfect works that I produce, I set them out into the world and I am pleased.
The most bothersome point is that there is so much that I want to do but do not do because I cannot execute the ‘thing’ the only way that I am willing to do it. Unfortunately, these are the things that keep me up at night planning and scheming. Planning and scheming them are pleasing to me. Yet, they go undone.
I haven’t found a solution, in fact I’ve played right into the curse of perfection and waited until I could produce something that I believe will fit the frame.
Ever since I first created a video montage of one of my Grenada sailing trips, I’ve been hooked on the idea of producing vlogesque montages of my life. However, I haven’t had the appropriate equipment to produce these shorts.
Although I thoroughly enjoyed filming and editing the Grenada trip, I was not very impressed with the end product when I compared it to my own ideals and the other content that I saw all over the internet. There were focusing problems, mic problems, noise problems, grain problems, editing problems. Sure I had a lot to learn but I felt that the equipment that I had would leave me trying to learn from the other side of the classroom door.
I have a promise, an agreement of sorts, with myself which is to not only produce content, but to produce quality content. They say that a poor workman blames his tools, sometimes he just really has poor tools. If we used sailboats to get to the moon we would not have succeeded. (Que conspiracy theory conversation) ANYWAYS!! Lots of people stand in the ‘use what you have, make what you can’ boat and I’m in the, ‘have what you need, then make what you can boat’. Learning to play the guitar on an untuned guitar isn’t great.
The Grand Response: Over the last few months, I’ve been making moves to reach to the point that I will have the equipment that I need to produce the content that I wish to. Very, very soon, I’ll begin document the thoughts, sights, stories and moments around me through a more visual and interactive medium.
My intention for this yet to be published, but well on its way channel, is to create a space for sharing my wild adventures, showcasing the city that I live in, relating to others about student life as well as ideologies, all in the name of ART!
I’m really excited about this space that I am creating. I’m almost as excited about being able to share it with you.
No fear, this blog will still be here. This blog feels like home. We are in the 4th year of this Great Perhaps and mmm, I’m loving it.
See you soon! (literally 😉 )