Category: Updates

For A While Now

 

F O  R    A    W H I L E   N O W

Every thing that is going on, has been going on. Nothing is new, things have grown, shrunk, transformed; still the same things.

I haven’t posted anything on this blog for a while now.

I’ve been back in Trinidad for a while now.

I’ve been watching my plans for the future come to fruition for a while now.

I’ve been heart broken over relationships that ended abruptly, for a while now.

People around me have been dying for a while now.

I’ve been wondering about life for a while now.

I’ve been trying to find a job & make money for a while now.

I have not enjoyed the rainy season for a while now.

I have been constantly tired for a while now.

I have been mulling over which path to choose for a while now.

I think about you daily for a while now.

You‘ve been an extra reason to smile for a while now.

I’ve been missing sailing for a while now.

I’ve been looking forward to migrating from Trinidad for a while now.

I’ve been considering anti depressants for a while now.

I have been wanting to write something, anything, on this blog for a while now.

Nothing new, still the same things.

Stay in, stay caring,
Rush

The Waiting Game

A time for sowing, a time for reaping.

A time for waiting.

What can I say? That is pretty much my life right now- waiting. 

Nothing about it is relaxing or calming. Mostly I just put the topic out of my mind because there isn’t anything that I can do with three of the four things that I’m waiting on. 

Waiting on Concordia University to accept me to study there for the next year or not. (I CAN email CU to ask what’s up)

Waiting to see if I get the Canada/CARICOM scholarship.

Waiting to see how the case with my parents’ company pans out.

Waiting for the boy who I’ve thought about everyday for the last three years. 

-Before this, I also had on this list ‘waiting to hear who got the award for the Barbados job’. 

Within the next two months I’ll have the answer for three of the four things but it is going to be a really long wait with number four, and at the end of the waiting I still may not have a favourable outcome. Regardless, and I genuinely mean this, -his happiness is mine. It’s worked for the last three years and it will continue to. It is a strange thing to think about someone everyday, especially someone who you used to see all the time then no more, now every wandering thought goes back to that person. 

And I’m in two minds about posting this on the blog because it is sort of pitiful in a really sixteen year old girl way but que sera sera. 

I’m just making my way through this time of waiting. 

A picture of a sunset because one day the sun will set on this waiting. hahaha I’m so cheesy. It is true though!

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Cheers,

rusharella 🙂