perfection: state of being without fault When you think of me, the first word that comes to mind isn’t ‘perfectionist‘. ‘Free-spirit‘,’wanderer‘, ‘sailor‘, ‘weird‘ (in the type of way that you like), or more aptly, ‘beachbum’ are nouns that commonly resonate. They are all accurate but there … Continue reading The Curse of Perfection
“Some things are better left short and unadulterated; it is what it is and what it was is perfect.”
Today as I stood by the Mexican food truck buyin’ my burrito ❤ _ ❤ I noticed a really beautiful tree not too far over yonder. I had my camera with me today so I left my burrito behind (shocking, yes) and payed the tree … Continue reading Pixels: Season for Caterpillars, Blooming Flowers and ‘FREEDOM’ at UWI, St. Augustine
After a great flight I arrived in London Lesson 1: Don’t purchase train tickets from the very first stall that you see. It is more expensive and they are banking on your inexperience to purchase the tickets there. Walk around a bit and figure it … Continue reading L O N D O N
I was doing good for all of the wrong reasons. I was doing good towards other people for my own betterment. I wanted to be as close to being a good person as possible so I did good. I even tried really hard at it. I was getting good at being a ‘good person’ when I realized how I’d missed the whole point.
Tobago. Trinidad. Trinidad Carnival. Grenada. Trinidad. Ben goes back to Paris. Four wild work days. Exams. Grenada. Trinidad. The past three weeks have been quite the whirlwind but they weren’t unpleasant. Tobago was calm and peaceful and extremely hot while both ferry trips to … Continue reading UPDATE with photos: Back In My Blogosphere, Travel, Cowes Week Regatta 2015 and University Acceptance
Cheers!
Happy New Year!
I wish that in 2015 you realize that if you want things to change you’ve got to change them yourselves. I wish you the motivation, courage and willingness to make the changes that are necessary to put you closer to where you desire to be in your life.
I wish that you remember that happiness is fleeting, I no longer deem it desirable. I’d much rather be content , contentment withstands time much better than happiness I’ve found in these past 20 years. Unfortunately, it took me 20 years to figure that out, I can excuse the first eight years, but the following twelve years I can’t. At least I do now an if you haven’t figured this out as yet take my advice for a bit and try it out. Life is better when you’re content. It takes practice but you’ll get better, I promise.
Lastly I wish Gods every blessing upon all of you whoever you are, whatever you believe, wherever you live and regardless of how terrible of a person you are. I wish you love. I want you to get better. I want to get better.
I’m going to leave you with the first picture that I took for this year. There’s a story behind it.
My brother asked me to come fishing with him so that we can use our parents’ boat without either of them being being there- that’s the agreement. I freely agreed, I tend to get seasick and fall asleep keep that in mind. Nonetheless I agreed. Then my dad came so I was no longer needed and was asked to leave. That’s pretty messed up and a wonderful way to start my new year. I left the boat pissed then decided to turn this around because crying less than eight hours into the new year is no way to start the new year. I called my mom and asked her if she wanted to come to the beach with me- apparently she had other plans. There is a long road to the North Coast that goes through a valley in the mountains from the Gulf of Paria and I decided to take a drive there no plans in particular. I reached to the end of it, saw the North Coast for a second then turned the truck around then I saw a perfect spot for a photograph.
This year I’m focusing on completing the process from ideas to final products so I instantly jumped to the occasion, turned the truck back around, pulled up at the side of the road and took this shot. It was everything that I wanted in a January 1st shot. I drove home, got onto my dinosaur, did some minor editing: cropping and sharpening, and started on this. Here’s to seeing the completion of my first idea on January 1, 2015.
Adventures always positively impact me.
Tomorrow please God my mom’s, pen pal (of more than 30 years)’s son will be coming from France to spend three months with us in the English speaking Caribbean. That’s another adventure I’m looking forward to.
Here’s what I want you to get from this photograph:
1. Always have the big picture in front of you.
2. Keep the end in mind.
3. Focus on each step that is directly in front of you.
4. Gain from your prior experiences but don’t look back, you past has no place in your future.
5. You are in control, all that has changed is the date, if you want something to change in 2015 you have to put in all of the groundwork for it to happen.
6. Lastly, keep moving forward.
With as much love and best hopes that I can send over a blog, I send to you.
Cheers to all of us in 2015!
Rushell
“I didn’t know I was broken ’til I wanted to change. With my wild past behind me, and the future before me, I don’t want to be that same guy (gal) who was losing my mind, an eighteen year old who didn’t know what loss was. I don’t want to waste away on a false love.
I wanna get better!”
Happy 1st year Great Perhaps! You’ve survived and outlasted the worldwide average lifespan of blogs, 3 months. It’s been awesome, although at times I would neglect you for weeks at a time, then come back to pour my heart out to ya. I started you because I love to write and it has been a while that I’ve wanted to have a functioning blog. To tell you the truth, you were not the first. Shocker, yeah I know. A few years ago I attempted to start a blogger.com blog but I never figured it out. Not much thought went into you, I thought about creating you then went back to my dorm room and created you. One year later, I still love having you around to empty my thoughts into.
A lot has happened since you were created. Obviously Rushell! An entire year has passed. Well, I started back learning to surf, I watched almost every sunset from on the hill, I studied, I cried my heart out a few good times, I made unsuspecting friends, I messed up good relationships that it would potentially take trips to three areas in California to see what’s up, I’m working on my habit of neglecting people. I got rid of some harmful relationships and I went to the beach as often as possible. I finished that first semester of university in Barbados, I made some big decisions across there, some of which I would regret (if I did that) and others that I’ve stuck to till this day. I said goodbye to friends that I made and hoped to see next semester, as well as to others that I’m not sure I will ever see them again. I did not go back to Barbados at the end of Christmas break.
I took a month at home handing with my friends and brother going on adventures and continuous beach days. In the meanwhile, my interest and love for photography was growing. As life and God would have it I was fortunate enough to come across a means to buy my first camera. I got a D3200 from Nikon, which was a tough decision between that and a Nikon D7100 but I figured that my first camera should not be a full frame professional camera that would have been a bit harder, as well as have to many options which would have complicated me learning the basics of photography. This is a decision that I’m honestly still reconsidering almost everyday but one thing that not going back to school has taught me is that you have to stick with the choices that you made, you made them for a reason and there is no benefit of lamenting past decisions.
Then I went to Canada for a month during their coldest winter in 20 years. It was a wonderful experience and I learned, grew and ached and froze a lot but diamonds are made under pressure. It was a dream come through and a eight year old promise fulfilled. I shared lots of shots with you from that experience. It was a wonderful time that ended with me heading to Grenada to meet my family and best friends who had sailed up. I decided to make a video of the time that we spent there. I went on to gain my PADI certification as a Recue Diver which means that the next step is the podium for me, Divemaster! I swam my first Open Water 3k in 1:26:11.
The past year has been a whirlwind of grasping opportunities and making my own luck, breaking free of my comfort zone. In the last year I’ve experienced some of the worst pain of my life. WordPress provided me with a blank canvas to express this pain, this joy, this love, this euphoria. Thank you WordPress, from the most sincere corner of my heart. Thanks to everyone of 695 of you that took the time to read this crazy teenage girl’s blog. I hope that at some point Great Perhaps made you smile, taught you something new, showed you a different perspective, was the reason why you gave me a call, or made you cry. Because this blog has made it easier for me to turn my feelings, dreams and thoughts into words. Into words that if my only option to express them was through spoken word, would still be tangled in my brain making me sick. Even the happy moments make me sick. I love the sunsets but they are also a reminder of how tangible we are, how short our existence is, how 20 years is only 7,304 days. Having this blog has helped me in so many ways and when I created it 365 days ago I had no clue that I had upon my fingertips a “whole new world”.
The Great Perhaps continues!
Follow me and within the next year you’d see me learn to speak Mandarin/Chinese, apply for universities for the fifth time in my life, start university for the second time in my life, start making short films and raise $30,000TT to sail in the ABERDEEN ASSET MANAGEMENT COWES WEEK 2015 upon the racing boat that I am presently part of the crew on, S/Y LEGACY, on an Island Record Setting trip and travel throughout Europe for approximately a month. Among of course, all of the regular things that I love to blog about, such as my thoughts as well as whatever comes my way.
With reference to the quote (Jack Antonoff) at the top of this blog (in case you haven’t realized) it refers to the past year and all of the changes that I have gone through, the lessons that I have learned, the work that is being done and the fact that in more ways than one,
“I WANNA GET BETTER!”
Much love and appreciation,
Rushell Rousseau
1. My parents we married for six years before I was able to be conceived. If you count nine months from January 1 correctly you’d possibly and most likely find yourself on my birthday. I guess their New Year’s wish came through.
2. Everything that I eat makes me sick. As in EVERY LAST THING! Unfortunate but I’d rather be in pain and survive to see the world around me and to keep on going on adventures than not to. Plus I have acid re-flux that Nexium only ‘eased up’ not removes.
3. I resent Facebook, the social media site. I deactivate my account all of the time then reactivate it because of it’s ability to give me easy access to my friends and family who have been scattered across the world.
4. I love Jesus and strive to emulate his love in my everyday activities but I fail terribly. He still loves me though.
5. I rarely complete thoughts. They pop into my brain like sunflowers opening their petals to the sun for the first time (I’ve never actually seen the growth process of a sunflower so forgive me if I’m wrong but that’s what I gather it would look like based on my experiences with other flowers) then before it can show it’s glory, another taller and bigger, yet not necessarily better sunflower grows past it. New thoughts are constantly being formed before their predecessors have grown. Although we’ve only reach number five on this list I’ve thought through about 8-11 things that would be awesome to add but forgot them because new ideas sprouted up blocking them out.
6. Over the next three year I intend to work for, save and make $500,000 TT so that I can pay to finish my undergraduate degree abroad. Why not save it to pay for my Masters? I have no intentions of giving in to this paper society to such an extent. In other words, I have no intentions of doing my Masters. < I have an odd tingling that someone might bring this up in an attempt to use against me in the future… this will be interesting.
7. My mom has started a vegetable garden in our side and backyard. We have cucumbers, chive, lettuce, cassava, patchoi (a.k.a. Pat’s joy in my house because mom is the only one who likes it yet she loves to cook it), okra, shadow beni, tomatoes, pigeon peas. I’m looking forward to eating my home grown vegies. 7b. I’m accustomed to eating home grown veggies, my grandmother has a wonderful garden.
8. I have a namesake! My cousins named their daughter after me. So now there are two Rushells in this beautiful world. Personal: Knowing that she’d possibly either look up to me one day or be proud to know that she was named after someone has kept me from doing a lot of things. Really bad things. I love her.
9. Right now I’m supposed to be seasoning minced beef to cook for dinner for my family but then I remember that blogging is fun and I had turned it into a very legalistic activity and that’s possibly why I rarely do it anymore. This was fun to blog about and I thought of these things off of the top of my head. (Refer to number 5 if everything didn’t make absolute sense and refer to number 9 if you were wondering why I’m not going to read over and edit this post.)
10. On Saturday I’m doing my first open water swim. It’s 3000m long. I’ve been training for all of 5 weeks three times a week. I’m doing it for fun and I have no care about where in the group I finish as long as I finish. I am confident that I will finish however. I’ve never actually competitively swam that distance in the pool or sea and I’m quite unwell right now; it hurts to walk and breathe but I had a great last training session today.
Here’s a random picture. I’m just going to go into the file and pick a random one.
I know that I said 10 things but this one is interesting: I filled the entire hard drive on my laptop in two and a half years. I’m not certain how. Pictures take up quite a lot of space actually.
So that’s it for tonight. Let me go prepare my dinner as anyone young girl who intends to be a housewife while raising her children should.
You are loved.
I love you with the love that Christ has loved me.
(Refer to number 4)
Rushell
Hi there!
Locally there is a spoken word series on some of our radio stations right now. Ever since Jefferson Bethke’s ‘Why I Hate religion but love Jesus’ spoken word, I along with many others have been drawn into this art form. Initially as a spectator but now I’ve come to the conclusion that I can participate in this thing. Why? Well I love writing to express my point of view and I’ve been looking for a way to spread the Good News, plus practicing some public speaking couldn’t hurt.
Here goes!
What is this love you speak of?
Babe what?
Breaking up?
I thought you said you loved me?
Remember?
We were sitting by the river, the waterfall behind us and you said you’ll love me forever.
Isn’t that what love is?
What?
You didn’t love me like that.
Sorry nah!
What is this other type of love that you speak of?
I didn’t want to do things with you yet.
You didn’t want to wait until I was no longer ticking the single box on my VISA application form.
But babe, love is patient, love is kind.
What fella?
The one who calls likes everything I post on Facebook and calls every night?
That’s my cousin my number one supporter,
Been there since hashtag day one,
Grew up together since his mother left his father.
Babe are you jealous?
Love is never jealous, love is not boastful or conceited.
It’s never rude, like what you told my mother or catcalling those girls in the road, all the boys laughing with one another.
Love never seeks it’s own advantage,
Like trying to force me to do things pre-marriage.
What is this love that you speak of?
It does not take offence.
Honey I’m sorry I spilled red paint on your brand-new Billabong board-shorts, but must you remind me every time we walk into Beachbreak?
Love doesn’t store up grievances.
Love does not rejoice in wrong doing but finds its joy in the truth.
It’s always ready to make allowances, like going down the islands with your friends or staying back an extra year to wait for you to go to college.
Love is always ready to trust,
Even when it’s hard, even when I see that your latest dive trainee is a beauty,
with the body of a Victoria’s Secret angel,
And a voice that sings ‘Let it go so sweetly you just might consider letting go of me,
of us and our relationship that was apparently just filled with lust!
I was overcoming my insecurities and hoping that one day we will be joined in Holy matrimony.
I wasn’t in this for a status.
I was in this to share love; the greatest gift we’ve ever gotten
Love is for better, love is for worse
Love endures whatever comes CXC, CAPE or UWI’s final exams.
That’s why I’m so surprised babe, because, love never ends.
But, apparently to you, love should just be another Facebook button for when you’re done tagging you’re friends.
Hastag OnaRealzDoh, what is this love you speak of?
That’s it! My first attempt at writing spoken word poetry. Hopefully it would be on national airways very soon and I’d be shooting a video for it in June so remember to Subscribe to my blog and you would receive my updates as I post them!
Also that was 1 Corinthians 13 in case you did not recognize it.
Have a great night!
God’s blessings upon you
Rushell
Great Perhaps 